We talk a lot about taking our yoga off the mat, as if off-the-mat is any different than on-the-mat.

As a teacher, it is very instructive to witness the various machinations of the mind while bodies are moving in space on the mat.  The curious element, for me, is how during a practice of mindful movement, we can so easily turn off to the bigger picture of mindfulness which requires union of mind and body; in other words, Yoga!

Some people come to Yoga for the physical wellbeing it promises and others for spiritual awakening using the body as the doorway to that light.  Both are happening at any given time for all who take this yogic leap of faith, by the simple act of unrolling their mats.

What happens, sometimes, is that we separate the experiences of life on and off the mat; we expect a certain intentional atmosphere including calm, lilting music, perhaps some soothing aroma or the dulcet tones of an already enlightened teacher who will compassionately guide us to our own version of Nirvana.  If that is the quest, and it is a lovely one, a spa retreat might be the thing you seek (though finding an already enlightened teacher may be a different path on this journey).  I suggest that Yoga practice requires a broader definition of what peace means, which may include a hurdle of discomfort essential to finding that peace.

For a practitioner of Yoga, the challenges include facing yourself, wherever you are, and dealing with whatever circumstances arise.  If you are in your car, driving sanely and mindfully, and the person behind you is riding your tail in an aggressive way, what do you do?  Some might move into harsh language (I’ve been there) or might slow down just to annoy them further; others might pull over to let the car pass or take a deep breath or ten and keep going.  Actually, I’ve experienced each one of these scenarios and find the ones that create change in me a better service than trying to change the driving habits of the other person.  I’m always telling my kids, when they are confronted with seemingly annoying behaviors, that the only person they can change is themselves.

Now, you’re on the mat and the music is not what you expected and is beginning to irritate you or the person next to you smells or makes sounds that distract you from your otherwise peaceful practice.  Is it the teacher’s job to create a level playing field for all to mindlessly and calmly move through their practice?  I don’t think so.  When I was studying meditation at the Shambhala Center in NYC, there were jack-hammers going all day long!  What could we do?  We practiced!

It is my deep feeling that some of the most potent and lasting lessons come from meeting discomfort or agitation head-on.  Pema Chödrön, the esteemed American Buddhist Nun of the Shambhala lineage, teaches to “lean into the sharp points” and to “meditate on whatever provokes resentment.”

Meditation is the key that has the potential to open these locks which prevent us entry to that peaceful feeling we seek.  These locks insulate us from listening to the instruction to notice what arises and truly hear it; they give us permission to maintain the status quo of our habitual reactions; they are roadblocks to moving further on the path.  Adding a regular meditation practice to your asana practice may loosen those locks and allow entry to a more malleable experience in the world.

If Yoga means, “Union,” why would we expect special treatment on the mat?  When we truly meet ourselves where we are, sometimes what we meet does not fit the perfect picture of how we wish to see ourselves.  That’s when the work begins.

** Monkey Mind is a reference to the nature of our minds, which we see more clearly as we sit in meditation.  Thoughts are viewed as branches and the Mind as a Monkey.  The monkey swings from branch to branch much the same way the mind flows from thought to thought.  Through meditation we don’t try to eradicate thought, rather still the mind enough to recognize the nature of thinking and not to get stuck on storylines or outcomes.  We simply recognize a thought, label it “thinking” (without judgment) and return to the breath.

I recently had the privilege of hosting the local Buzz in Bucks team at one of my Friday Beginners classes at the Prancing Peacock.  Click the link to get the Buzz in Bucks!

Hope everyone had a great summer!!

Updates to the site are coming soon!

I am neither a yoga teacher, nor do I teach yoga.

Don’t get me wrong, I AM a yoga teacher and I DO teach yoga.

Confused?  Me too.  I am constantly curious about this practice, questioning what I know and how to effectively communicate it to a room of 15-30 people at a time.  I make an effort to really see my students and toss them verbal cues, but that is not completely possible for me without getting off the mat.

My goal for my teaching in 2012 is to get off the mat!  In order to do that with purpose and embracing the yoga tenet of Ahimsa (doing no harm), I know what I have to do.  Practice!

If you’ve ever taken my class you might recognize that I am verbally instructive, have fun with the practice, add in some element of the spiritual aspects and play, sometimes, unconventional music (always including at least one Grateful Dead song).  I love teaching; I love my students; I love this practice!  After 13 years of practicing and more than a year of teaching I know one thing for sure; I want to be more than a popular teacher, I want to be a great teacher.

I’ve taken extremely satisfying, even transcendent, classes with teachers who don’t leave their mats.  Some of my favorite teachers inspire me without once setting foot off the mat or assisting me in a pose.  That said, when I take a class with a teacher who walks around instructing, adjusting and assisting, my practice takes on new dimensions and I soar down the path, grounded, without touching the ground.

I’m not a particularly conceptual person so verbal cues don’t always translate specifically to the pose in my body.  While it’s nice to feel good in a pose, sometimes that feeling, if not in alignment, can turn into injury over time.  When a teacher assists or adjusts in the pose, the physical touch creates clarity.  It is this clarity that unifies the body, mind & spirit, propelling us forward in the practice.

That is one simplified explanation of why this is called, “Not a Yoga Teacher.”  The other, possibly more important reason for this title has to do with Titles.  Calling myself a Yoga Teacher is another label I attach to my idea of who I am.  If I am a Yoga Teacher who one day cannot teach yoga for one reason or another, then what am I?  Who am I?

Since I was a small child, I only ever wanted to be an actress.  That title carried me through all the shows, camps, programs, classes and even the acting program at NYU’s TISCH School.  There was a point during my studies in college (though I never admitted it then) when that title no longer fit.  But, I’d worn that badge so long and attached it to my idea of myself with such fervor that it seemed inconceivable that I could be me without it.  I don’t want that to happen with being a yoga teacher.

I am happily treading this path, sometimes moving ahead, sometimes stalled and occasionally veering off to one side or another.  Sound familiar?  This makes me more a student of yoga than a teacher.  I practice living my life guided by the lofty love of yoga, but as a human who is not yet enlightened, I sometimes falter.

So, if you see me in the grocery store disciplining my children in a voice foreign to the sultry timbre heard from my mat, try not to judge or make excuses or think things like, “…and SHE’S a YOGA Teacher!”  SHE’s not a yoga teacher; she’s a person who loves yoga and has the privilege to share it while trying to figure out how to live it completely.

What are you NOT?

I am so grateful that I found yoga.  Or did yoga find me?  It’s a chicken/egg scenario for sure.

In the early days of my yoga practice I lived in New York City.  Everything I did had that Manhattan flavor and all-encompassing feeling of striving for more.  The space where I practiced (the original Om Yoga location on 14th Street) was a beautiful cross-section of NY life. People from every profession, art culture and Being found their way to this unassuming building that offered a transformational practice.

I only took Basic classes at that time and even then the room was often filled with ex-dancers working to retrieve their bodies from a lifetime of encouraging their limbs into counter-intuitive physical forms.  Athletes, gymnasts and dancers of all styles seemed to  flow formlessly into this alternate expression, taking on the asanas with the ease and aptitude of their former disciplines.  It’s difficult to truly harness the memories of the challenges I faced in my practice back then.  I do remember, however, that even when I felt awkward in my own body I took amazing pleasure and inspiration from watching the diverse expressions in the bodies around me.

I did not approach yoga as an extension of any physical practice, sport or dance background; I came to yoga as a hippie! C’mon people, turn on your heart lights!  Yes, I had a history in the theatre which required that I participate in various dance classes and occasionally perform movements to music and song, but a dancer that does not make.  (I am, however, extremely comfy on a colorfully lit dance floor with a D.J. spinning Jackson 5, Lady Gaga & Madonna and a cocktail somewhere in sight, but that’s another whole blog-to-be.)

While I embrace and love the physical aspects of yoga and indulge in the open-ended box of possibilities of the body, I am equally drawn to the spirit which conceived this practice.  Creating a series of poses designed to allow the body to relax into sitting meditation is brilliant!  A practice that reminds people to open their hearts and minds, not to judge themselves or others, to practice ahimsa (non-violence), to explore the edge of life’s experiences, to honor oneself, is beyond brilliant!

I used to wonder what became of radical youth, or even not-so-radical-youth who attached themselves to a “scene” that may express themselves in an extreme way, as they came into adulthood.  I suppose one may say that following the Grateful Dead and enjoying the occasional Rainbow Gathering would place me smack dab in the middle of that description.  The answer to my progression, while not at its inevitable end, has definitely found a solid yet porous expression on my yoga mat.  It was an effortless transition that did not require leaving myself behind, rather it embraced the wholeness of my self while digging ever deeper into the soil of my soul.  

A large common denominator among the loves of my life including: the Theatre, Grateful Dead, Rainbow and Yoga (those mentioned in this blog), are the people.  My mother always says that it’s the people that make the place, and she’s absolutely right!  It’s about community.  Being around people whose intentions are to connect more fully to themselves, the earth and those around them, realizing that we are all just part of the whole (while being whole all on our own) is a liberating and easy feeling and one that speaks directly to me.

My father used to say that I would have been a very successful actress if I never had to audition.  I laugh now at that truth he saw so long ago.  I was just never very competitive (as long as I’m not playing Scrabble 😉 ).  It is poetic and profound to free-fall into yoga and all of the arteries that stem off the main path.  I get to have fun while doing something good for myself and, by extension, my family and friends (and possibly even strangers) without the pressure of having to compete!  Sure, there are things I’d like to experience along the way, but if they don’t happen then, oh well!  I will keep on practicing and cultivating my inner garden, taking great joy in watching it bloom and grow.

Thank you Yoga!

To begin with a total oversimplification, here is a sample of some of the styles of yoga we enjoy today:

Anusara, heart-based/alignment-focused yoga (John Friend)

Ashtanga, power yoga (K. Pattabhi Jois)

Bikram, hot yoga (Bikram Choudhury)

Iyengar, detail/alignment-based (B.K.S. Iyengar)

Kundalini, releases Kundalini energy (Yogi Bhajan)

Viniyoga (Vinyasa), connecting breath with movement (Sri T. Krishnamacharya–teacher of Iyengar & Jois, and father of T.K.V. Desikachar)

Got it?  (There are many other styles, including Jivamukti that seems to be a blend of many–as are many others, but you get the point)  There’s something for everyone.

As many styles of yoga there are, there are as may ways to practice.  Some yogi(ni)s are purest, when they find a style they love, that’s it.  Others go through phases where different styles speak to them at different times in their lives.  Others studio and style-hop, finding that the ever-present lightbulb illuminates with certain teachers and not necessarily a specific style.  Perhaps your practice style is not reflected in these reduced descriptions; I’d love to hear what makes your yoga tick.

The lightbulb started flickering for me today when I realized what to call my form of yoga:  CAYA Yoga™ ~ Come As You Are Yoga™.  Characterized by its intention to serve the individual as seen as part of the whole, CAYA Yoga™ touches something different in each person while honoring that sacred space that binds us all.  Then I realized that’s what Yoga, in general, is all about!  It’s ALL CAYA Yoga™!  Whew!  What a relief!

CAYA Yoga™ does not have a studio or structure out which it is disseminated, rather it is the yoga you take with you when you step onto your mat to practice whatever style calls you!  Perhaps the distinction is that a sense of humor is required if you’re going to call your style CAYA Yoga™.

Approach your practice with a light heart and an inner smile. That is my one proprietary rule.  Otherwise, just Come As You Are!

ps.  Adding the ™ was my way of having fun with the, sometimes, proprietary nature/language of yoga today. None of these thoughts are original, I just express them in my words. Yoga belongs to the world, I’m just happy to be part of the world that enjoys yoga!

Namaste!

Okay, so I watch the Real Housewives series with alternating giggles and shakes of my head.  I am intrigued, disgusted, amused and often rapt by these post-modern personalities.  The pendulum swings between extremes that are more typical on reality television than in reality, itself.  It is the voyeuristic, passive view, distanced by the medium of television, that sets my heart racing and oh so grateful for my life as it is.

I love how shows like these tap into the unexpected in people.  Well, maybe I should rephrase that.  I love how unexpected people tap into these shows.  (Sort of like my 30+ year addiction to General Hospital – or as I call it, my residence in Port Charles – often elicits gasps or giggles from people who know me.)

There are no secrets on Facebook, so I got to gasp and giggle when I saw that many of my Yogi(ni) friends were present among the droves who “Like” certain Housewives.  There’s divine poetry in a Universe that Yokes seemingly disparate aspects into something whole.  Isn’t that the definition of Yoga?

As I delve deeper into this bottomless (and dare I say topless) practice, I am awed by everyday examples of off-the-mat yoga.  Profound, sometimes, in its ameba-like simplicity and other times challenging in its utter complexity, the Yoga pendulum swings freely with an open invitation to take the ride or observe it with wakeful eyeballs.

The challenges I face in my asana practice off the mat are largely logistic.  I am often torn between a visceral desire (and need) to be ever present for my children and husband and charging toward the divine finger that beacons me toward a different bliss.  Remaining present with each choice is as much a part of the practice as perfecting my downward dog or learning to effortlessly float and invert.

I want to include my family on this amazing journey.  I want my children to feel a certain non-attached ownership with yoga and not see it as the reason mommy wasn’t around for hours at a time.  I want my husband to experience the openings, discoveries and overall magic of this practice for himself and not just take my word for it.  Looking at this paragraph, I see a lot of statements that start with, “I want.”  I’m not exactly attached to the outcome of these desires, but would love to see them play out nonetheless.  After all, it’s just yoga.

Following my bliss (thank you for the language Joseph Campbell), I must also adhere to  the cardinal rule of Ahimsa, doing no harm, to my family or else it’s really all in vain.  The tight rope is shrinking and challenging my balance with every choice I make.  This is also yoga!

A Real Housewives show featuring Yoga Housewives is one I hope is never produced for the masses.  The idea of this show, however, is one at least worth examining both from the perspective of the Yogini Housewife, as well as, that of her family who are directly affected by her treading this path.

Conflict and coping are part of life.  Yoga is a beautiful context within which to figure it all out, or just be okay with not knowing a thing!

A couple of end notes:

The following clip would suggest a yoga seed growing in the RH franchise:  LINK TO YOGA IN RH NYC

Check out Yogamaya when you’re in Manhattan!

It’s been a while since I’ve written here.  When I’m smack dab in the eye of a creative storm, inspiration for writing becomes that elusive shiny thing gleaming ever in the background waiting patiently for the storm to pass.

This recent respite began around the time I took the Seane Corn workshop at Yogaphoria.  

I was just beginning to re-enter my body after months of sciatic/SI joint discomfort which often left me at my most limited range of motion.  Thankful for balance, these physical limitations yielded to a broader & deeper spiritual response.  By the time I got to my mat, I was ready to revisit my edge.

Excited to take my body and mind to unexpected places – and sharing the experience with some of my favorite yogi(ni)s while meeting new friends – my anticipation met the reality with wonder and love.  I was not disappointed.

Seane Corn, in addition to humoring my need for “the hair” shot, enhanced my personal practice while informing my newly developing “teacher’s mind.”  Seane tapped into something much bigger than the individual, while bringing the work right back to the mat.  We practiced asana in her beautifully specific style, detoxed our bodies while redirecting our thoughts, stepped in and out of various shadows and returned to the light.

Thank you, Melanie, for inviting bright stars into our universe, creating a most unique and formidable constellation under which we can all practice, contemplate and grow.  Your bright light casts its glow wide enough to warm us all!

Still riding the incredible wave generated by that weekend, I hurled myself into planning for the two classes I was to teach to complete my teacher training program.*

Noticing that my back issues were in part due to tight hips, I decided to design a double sequence called, “Hippie Hippy Namaskar,” complete with groovy tunes.  As the Surya Namaskars greet and salute the sun, these series would do the same for our hips and our inner hippies.  (I think only one person fled the room to challenge authority and protest in the streets;-).

While I love the chants and verses that are often the soundtrack to a yoga class, I felt that a compilation of some of my favorite classic rock songs would be more appropriate to the theme.  The first class was a diverse playlist including the Grateful Dead, The Beatles, John Lennon, Cat Stevens, Janis Joplin, The Rolling Stones, Joni Mitchell and CSNY.  The second class, but for the first song which was the Grateful Dead, was entirely Beatles.  There’s something about snuggling close to your edge while hearing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds that is strangely satisfying.

The outpouring of love was amazing!  Friends filled the studio for both classes, adding that extra cushion of support that carried me through to Sivasana.

The songs I find myself gravitating toward for Sivasana all have references to death.  This seems poetic to me since Sivasana is Corpse Pose.  What a gift it is to have regular practice for this Final Pose, knowing that it is just a rehearsal.  And hey, a melodic reminder is only that, a reminder set to music.

I have so much still to process from those first two classes as I embark on imagining future classes.  Perhaps this examination will show up in the next blog.  So, stay tuned…

*  I am so grateful to have a number of wonderful yoga studios to embrace.  I’ve said it before, but when I left NYC I was convinced that was the end to the standard of quality to which I had become accustomed.  I am happy to say how wrong I was!  In the nine years we’ve lived in Bucks County, the yoga world has exploded with amazing and various teachers, styles and studios.  You know who you are!  (Prancing Peacock, Yogaphoria, Yogasphere, YogaLove, Dig Yoga).   If I’m missing any, please leave a comment with your favorite!  Inclusion and diversity is what serves me and I hope you are nourished as much by the numerous offerings!!

I must mention Liz from the Prancing Peacock and thank her for meeting me where I am, allowing me to even entertain the idea of teaching this awesome practice!  You are a most generous “River Guide.”  😉

Namaste!

What does French cooking have to do with Yoga?

When the movie “Julie & Julia” was in the theaters, I dragged my husband to see it.  Every so often he would nudge me or squeeze my hand in those moments when he recognized some idiosyncratic similarity between Julie and me.

The movie touched on some of my favorite things:  Writing, cooking, storytelling, eating & biography were the main entrees.  Besides being backdropped by my favorite city, I was skewered by the wonderful aromas and flavors the juxtaposing stories evoked.  Each story was seasoned by the telling of the other.

While I love to cook, I am admittedly more of a “mad scientist” kind of cook than a recipe-following chef.  Among the many jobs I’ve held, working at the Fancy Food Show was responsible for some of my favorite “rocking chair story” memories.  I worked at one in Washington, DC, where I saw Julia Child in a group of three, standing at the top of the escalators, deep in conversation.  My connection to her, then, was the Dan Aykroyd sketch on Saturday Night Live and disjointed blurbs from her television show.  But, looking at her in her small group, she not only loomed over the other two, she was larger than life.

“Who’s your vote for Yoga’s Julia Child?” I asked on my Facebook page.  Excited to get a conversation rolling, I was hoping for a snowball effect of votes.  One beautiful vote came in, but the polls are not closed…yet.

I had an epiphany when I posted this question.  Julia Child brought the otherwise inaccessible art of French cooking to masses of American households.  And now here comes the connection:  Lilias Folan did the same thing with Yoga.  Her 1972 PBS TV show, “Lilias! Yoga & You” was Yoga’s answer to “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.”

I know about as much about Lilias Folan as I did about Julia Child, so went to her website, to learn more about this person whose vague, but potent, identity had appeared so boldly in my blogosphere.

In the tab “About Lilias,” here is part of the first paragraph:  “Recognized as the “First Lady of Yoga” since her ground breaking 1972 PBS television series, Lilias! Yoga and You, Lilias Folan is regarded as one of America’s most knowledgeable and beloved Master Yoga teachers. Time magazine called Lilias the “Julia Child of Yoga.”

The connection had already been made.

Each of these formidable women broke boundaries of gender, culture and expectation without losing themselves in the process.  I chose the above photo of Julia Child, not to poke fun but to share in the fun she brought to her audience.  And of Lilias, I want to know the person in this photograph.

Thank you, Lilias & Julia!

Namaste & Bon Appetit!